Dating again after a divorce is not just a daunting prospect for you – it can be particularly difficult for your children to deal with. So taking them into account as you begin to rebuild your love life is a crucial matter for consideration.
Adults can understand how the relationship has broken down – they've been at the eye of the storm and have seen it all happen – but the children haven't. If they are not happy with their understanding of the situation then anger and resentment can be common effects.
To counter this it is important to treat the children as equals. If it is clear they are unhappy with something and are old enough, then it is important to sit them down and talk through the situation with them. Make it simple enough to understand, but let them know you understand their level of maturity.
When you do start dating, it is important to asses their comfort level. How much to they want to know? How much to they want to be involved? It is important to gauge their opinions on these, then tailor your response accordingly.
Also important is keeping them in the know about where you will be with your date and when. There may be times when they may feel uncomfortable having your date around. Make sure you let them know your timetable and try to stick to it, as the unexpected presence of someone else in a certain situation could unsettle them.
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